How To Survive High Altitudes

For those of you who climb mountains, or travel to places with thin air – take note! This is the only way to truly survive high altitudes.

Coca leaves, I looove you!
Coca leaves, I looove you!

I’m usually good up in the mountains – okay fine, there may be a bout or fifteen with HAF*, but nothing a few GasX won’t cure – but holy hell was I not prepared for what was about to happen in Peru or Chile.

High Altitude Sickness kicked in the first time for me in Peru. I was in Cusco at the market – not the big tourist one but the one waaaaay down the hill where the locals go – haggling my ass off over some alpaca skins when suddenly I wanted to die. As in crawl in the ground and call it a day. I got nauseous, light headed, dizzy and blacked out thinking, “THIS is how it’s gonna go down? Here?” I woke up to the guy I was haggling with standing over me and shoving what looked like bay leaves in my mouth.

I almost died haggling over this rug. It was worth it.

My first thought was, “What in the sam hell is this guy doing?” and just as I was thinking, “Is he trying to drug me – cuz dude, I’m already down,” a miracle happened. Not only did I feel 150% better – I felt like I could move mountains. I popped back up, finished haggling and left with three pelts (two of which I later lined with cashmere and gave out as the best Christmas gifts ever) and a bag of coca leaves. And that is how I discovered the wonderful coca leaf.

Now, I know the US government wants to bomb all coca leaves from the face the face of the planet, but I disagree. I should also note I DON’T DO DRUGS – at least not drugs that can’t be bought legally and over the counter (as in, anywhere, not just the US. I am clearly a fan of the international OTC market). The native people of South America have all been chomping on the leaves for thousands of years and without the coca leaf I would’ve, at the very least, had a crappy time in Peru and never made it to Macchu Picchu. And I never would’ve made it to the geyser fields in the Chilean Atacama Desert.

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The Salar de Atacama salt flats surrounded by mountains made of salt. Not as tasty as you’d think.

Last summer, at the ripe old age of (record scratch), I learned how to ski. In August. In Chile. Afterwards, with the help of Santiago Adventures I did a tour of the wine country before heading up to stay at the insanely chic Alto Atacama Resort in the highest desert in the world. While I acclimated for three days before I was allowed to even attempt to go to the Geyser Fields which are up at 14,000 ft above sea level – I saw things like this:

Lakes with higher salt levels than the Dead Sea

I also did a Star Safari (You’re so close to the sky you can see all of Saturn’s rings and the entire Milky Way through a telescope – not kidding). And tromped through the world’s highest wetlands. But the biggest draw were the El Tatio geyser fields. And frankly, I would’ve had to give them a miss if i hadn’t made friends with Julio and Ana at the hotel who, on the 4 am bus up to the geyser fields (you have to get there for sunrise when everything really blows up) helpfully handed me a wad of coca leaves to eradicate my pounding headache. Seriously, it felt like my brain had been taken over by a room full of angry, drunken elephants who were about start sumo wrestling.

I helpfully videotaped myself chomping on said leaves for your enjoyment. Note, I have no pupils. Enjoy!

 

*High Altitude Flatulence – the scourge of the skies. Just ask any stewardess. They’ve all crop dusted a few passengers in their day. Trust.